Tennis is a big hobby of mine, and I follow the grand slams like somebody from Green Bay follows the Packers. When I first attended a big-name tennis tournament, it came as a surprise that people were as big of geeks as me when it came to players, stats, techniques, odds, etc. In fact, compared to others, I'm very much an amateur. When the pandemic hit, the cancellation of tournaments, and the lack of crowds able to attend them, came as a giant blow. So, watching the major tournaments come back has been a source of joy to me. And I've spent an inordinate amount of time watching people whose names have no vowels — or are all vowels — slam the bejesus out of the tennis ball on television.
I'm enjoying the sport now more than ever. Why? In the course of adjusting to tiny crowds, health hazards, diminished ticket sales and more, professional tennis has made a few changes. And in my opinion, they are HUGE improvements, and may save us all hours of our lives NOT watching player tantrums. Here are just a couple:
I'll always be tracking tennis on TV. But I guess I have to thank Coronavirus for the changes that make it less precious and more fun to watch.
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I do not have a traditional relationship with sheets. Ever since we bought into the king-size bed craze (thanks, trip to Vegas), I really lost control of that situation. They're so huge! Even when I was young and capable of cleaning house in, like, three hours, changing, washing and folding those giant sheets put me in a full sweat. A long time ago, I decided that I was going to go with one set, period — and consolidate the entire process into a half-day affair. That should make life pretty simple, right? So here's what I don't get: why are there SO many sizes and types of king sized sheets? Obviously, I'm not a huge consumer of king sized sheets, but I have bought my fair share over the years, and each and every one is a different size, with different form-fitting techniques.
One set (and price does not seem to matter here) sloppily droops over my respectably-thick mattress, requiring constant tuck-ins; the next turns into an upper body workout to get three out of four corners on (on the fourth I just give up). Pillowcases, too, are just randomly sized, it seems. What this country needs (and I'm laughing here) is a Bureau of Standards & Measures focused on making things like this purchasing decision more consistent. I mean, how do we know what we're in for until we've washed the dang things? And who returns washed sheets? Once again, it's beyond me. I am not a great driver, have never pretended to be, but I have been driving for nearly half a century, and for decades accident-free. What I don't get is why everyone else thinks they're a better driver than I am — to the point that they start bullying me into decisions.
I'm talking about those people who, while tied at a four-way stop, for example, start waving to tell me to come ahead — even though it's really my decision.. And here's what I really don't get: nine times out of ten, those drivers will be in vehicles that are noticeably damaged, in every way. I mean, they have nothing to lose, right? Clearly, their decision-making is questionable, if not downright faulty. And yet, and yet, they really think they should be in charge of the intersection. Why? It's beyond me. |
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